Our First Date

In February of 1985, I was in a serious quandary. Our annual "Sweetheart Banquet" was in a few days... and I didn't have a date. Remember, this was before the days of eharmony, christianmingle and match.com. There was no texting, twitter, facebook or facetime.... You actually had to talk to the girl and ask her out (gasp!)

I was with some married friends and they were trying to help me out of my predicament. They were suggesting certain young ladies for me to ask to the banquet. And... for some reason or other, I was rejecting all of their candidates. After awhile, probably through sheer desperation or the feeling that I was a hopeless case, one of them said "Why don't you ask Tami Bean?" This suggestion was met with laughter, then we talked on and finished the evening with no solution to my impasse.

There was some reason for our laughter. Tami was "slightly" older than I and was referred to as an "Old Maid." The other reason?... Her Dad had the reputation of being a pretty tough character when it came to someone dating his daughter. This reputation was very effective in scaring off the riff-raff, undesirables and scalawags. Our families were somewhat connected through our church fellowship. Tami's Mother had "fixed" my Mom's hair for awhile and I was young enough to go along and play with Tami's younger brothers, since I Was the same age as her youngest brother...

After I got home, I begin to think of how funny it would be to "call their bluff" and ask Tami to the banquet. After all, she was a fine Christian young lady with high standards and she had always taken time to "swap howdys" when we would meet. So...I took the plunge and telephoned her.

She was not the one that answered the phone... It was a deep, precise, immediately recognizable voice, which said "Bean Residence." Gulp! I introduced myself, asked if Tami was available and Joe Bean said she was and called her to the telephone. We exchanged a few pleasantries, I stated my purpose for calling and asked her if she would consider going with me to the banquet. She accepted and the rest is history... except you don't know that history...yet.

In my typical fashion, I didn't tell anyone who I was taking to the banquet, until a couple of days before. And then I only told my brother and his wife and my Mom and Dad. On the banquet attendee list at Tami's church, I was a big "?" beside her name. I know Tami told her Mom and Dad, her sister and brother and a couple of close friends at church. Otherwise, no one else knew.

I showed up at Tami's house in my 1982 dark blue, short-bed, stepside, 4speed OD (important later), Ford truck. I knew I should bring flowers so I had bought her a nice bouquet of flowers (What I didn't know was... I should have bought a corsage!) We walked from the house, up the yard to my truck and she started to walk around to the passenger side. I said "You'll hafta get in on my side, that side's locked." Ok...a feller has his pride. I didn't want to show up at the banquet with my date polishing the chrome on the passenger side door!

A lot of folks can't believe this, but back then, I was painfully shy and backward and didn't talk a lot. Tami knew this and was very worried that the trip to and from Thayer (where the banquet was held) would be very long and awkward. We were miles down the road (by the old sale barn as a matter of fact), when we realized that it wasn't awkward, we had been talking the whole way and it was going to be an enjoyable evening.

When we walked into the banquet room of the old Warm Fork Restaurant, I think there was a collective "gasp" from the whole crowd! No one had ever considered Ray Riggs and Tami Bean as a potential "couple". If there hadda been Facebook, Twitter and Instagram back then, I'm sure the internet would have crashed!!

The ride home... Tami's sister and her date had ridden to the banquet with Mom and Dad Bean. And for some reason, she wasn't highly anticipating the ride back home. So... she leaned on Tami to ask if they could ride back with us. It was awkward for Tami to ask but she did and I was fine with it. So we all climbed into my BFT (Blue Ford Truck) to head home.

When you pile four grownups into a BFT it gets very crowded. (Although...this closeness was mainly for the benefit of the passengers we had picked up for the trip home.) However, it did present another problem. Remember the 4speed OD? In case you don't know, this is what is commonly referred to as a "stick shift." And now, with all the bodies in the BFT, it was situated right in front of Tami's knees!

There really was no way to drive and shift without occasionally touching Tami's knees. She even remembers that I rested my arm on her knee between gears...but I'm not so sure about that! However...it IS uphill from Thayer to West Plains so I did have to shift more than usual...!

It was a wonderful first date that we still talk and laugh about today. As a matter of fact, while I was typing this out, I just had to stop, walk into the living room and give Tami a kiss for taking a chance on me thirty-one years ago! She is the love of my life and the Good Lord willing, we will be celebrating thirty years of marriage come this May!