Mister Pot and Old Man Kettle

Sometimes, the meaning of idioms are lost with the passage of time.

I have been accused of "Beating Around the Bush" and there really is no sick like being "Sick as a Dog." But really and truthfully; when was the last time you saw it "raining cats and dogs"? (I know, I know... it was that time when you stepped in a poodle...) However, when an old idiom is played out right before your very eyes (and ears) the story just begs repeating.

I was working in the southern part of a southern county in southern Missouri when I happened upon a gentleman by the name of *Mister Pot.

We were traversing along an old trail that was the eastern boundary of a rural subdivision. The original surveyor had set large nails at the angle points of the meandering old road and we were locating and tying them with our traverse.

A few hundred feet down the trail, we passed by the driveway to Mister Pot's house. With human nature being what it is and knowing that "curiosity kills the cat", it wasn't long until Mister P strolled down his driveway and initiated the conversation with the usual question; "You gonna widen the road?"

This question, more often than not, precedes a ten to fifteen minute discussion on how you're not widening the road, just finding the old markers at the angle points; and No, you didn't begin your survey at the brass marker, in the concrete post, on top of the big hill, five miles to the north; Yes, we are licensed surveyors; No, that "thang" does not take pictures... *sigh*

When we had satisfactorily answered his questions, Mr. P had a final word of warning for us that went something like this....

"Now you got to watch out for Old Man Kettle that lives on down the road there. Let me tell you, He-Is-A-Weirdo! At night, he gets out and sneaks around, peeking into people's houses and crawling around their yards. Why, the other night, I caught him out in my yard, in full camouflage, face painted and everything! I took my shotgun and run him off! I tell ya! He's dangerous!"

To say the least, he got my attention!

We continued to traverse and about an hour or so later, a pickup truck makes its way down the narrow trail toward us. When it pulled up beside me and stopped, the passenger's window was rolled down so I stepped over to explain what we were doing.

The first thing I saw when I leaned down into the window to talk with the driver, was a rifle with a scope... Which thankfully was leaning on the seat with the muzzle pointed toward the floor. There was also a couple of handguns, of quite a large caliber, lying on the seat, within easy reach of said driver...

By the vivid and colorful description given by Mister Pot, I knew that this had to be "Old Man Kettle"!

For the second time that day, I answered the "usual" questions and received Old Man Kettle's sage and scholarly (but quite useless) advice, that I should start my survey from "The brass marker in the concrete post, on top of the big hill, five miles to the north."

When our conversation about surveying was complete, Old Man Kettle had some parting words of caution for me, that went something like this...

"Now you got to watch out for that ole Mister Pot that lives up toward the county road there. Let me tell you, he's a Blue-ribbon Weirdo! He gits out at night and sneaks around, crawling around people's yards, just a dirty peeping-tom I tell ya! Why, the other night, I caught him out in my yard, in full camouflage, had his face all painted! I took my pistol and run him off! I tell ya! He's dangerous!"

After he had moseyed on down the road and we had had our laugh (because "Laughter is the best medicine") I realized that the old idiom:
"That's like the pot, calling the kettle black" had not lost it's relevance in our "Post-Modern" world!

*Real names are not used to protect the reputation of the kitchen utensils