We had two winters in the late 70's that defied the notion of "Global Warming." 76-77 and 77-78 are winters that are forever etched into my memory (and certain other places as you will soon find out...)
One of these winters, we were back in school about two days after Christmas break and it started snowing. School was dismissed and it just kept snowing...and snowing...you get the "drift" (and the pun hopefully.) After it had snowed about 12-15 inches, it started to sleet and freeze rain another two or three inches on top of the snow. And just to prove that the snow gods were still angry, it turned COLD! We were out of school for three weeks and believe me, we made the most of it!
The crust that was formed on top of the snow by the sleet and rain was so thick, you could actually walk on it without breaking through. If you think sleds and snowboggens go fast on snow...try them on ice. It's stupendous! You could even sit down on your bohunkus... fanny... heiney... gluteus maximus...and slide!
In some of our rambles, we found ourselves at an old iron ore mine. These mines were just open pits, with steep sides and usually not over 50-100 feet deep. With the crust on top of the snow, you could sit on your bohunkus at the top, shove off, get up to warp speed going down the side of the mine and actually rocket out across the mine floor quite-a-ways! After we had done this on the shorter sides of the mine for awhile, we decided to go all out and try the big kahuna. This is where things get ugly.
It was just like I assume sky-diving would be...once you bail out, there ain't no goin' back! I bailed off the edge of the tall precipice of the mine slope with great courage... hope... and anticipation. I was not disappointed...until I got about ten feet from the bottom... It was TOO late when I saw the two inch rock (which was attached to a much larger rock) projecting out of the ice...directly in my path. Let me clarify... directly in the path of my tail-bone. I hit the projecting rock at the aforesaid warp speed, my heiney "bumped" up about six inches, came back down and I slid onto the flat floor of the mine!
I didn't get up immediately...I couldn't get up immediately...I couldn't even SIT up immediately! I lay flat on my back, groaning and just hoping, that when I felt the back of my head...my tail-bone would not be there somewhere!
I really don't remember the rest of the day but somehow they got me back to the truck and home.
What wisdom did I glean from this incident?... To paraphrase a quote from my old friend "Hank the Cowdog"...
"When you're sliding down the icy mine slope of life...be careful and don't hit a rock with your career!"
("When you're sliding down the banister of life...be careful and don't get a splinter in your career!" Hank the Cowdog)
We didn't have sleds in the Stringtown community out West of Poplar Bluff. Actually a city kid moved in and had a home made one, but he didn't stay long. We had something better we thought - a car hood. It was an old-timey model with the pointed front end. The sides had been cut off with a cutting torch by someone that couldn't cut a straight line and it had jagged edges. You could really get up some speed going down hill until you got to the wet-weather creek at the bottom. I was going great and really moving until I side swiped a tree which turned the hood sideways. When we (the hood and I) got to the bottom it stopped, but I didn't. Did I mention the jagged edges. It seems those edges took out the seat of my pants and part of my backside. I had sat on that cold hood so long I didn't even feel it. Someone told me I was bleeding so I went to the house to get patched up. Believe me, when my backside thawed out the feeling sure did come back. What fun! W. Barnes
ReplyDeleteThat is just too funny Brother Wayne! We used an old car hood a time or two also. They make good "ramps" for bicycles too! Thanks for commenting!
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DeleteWe used a car hood also. Once we got to going really fast down the hill hit the side of the road and went over it down the path to the creek we flew until....we went between the 2 trees. We kept on going the hood stooped dead in its tracks. Wedged so tight that from then on we had to cart our water either around it or we walked on it lol.
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