The Great Whizzer Rat Race!

I always like to be early. To church, to work, to appointments... I have always said "If I'm ten minutes early, I'm ten minutes late". My family is well aware of my proclivity for promptness. And one time at least, it provided some great entertainment.

In the spring of my sixth grade year, we moved from the country, to the big metropolis of West Plains. I finished out the year at the rural school, Junction Hill Elementary and then began my seventh grade year at the West Plains Junior High. It was quite a change. I went from knowing everybody in the whole school at Junction Hill to knowing one person in the Junior High. And, since we weren't considered full fledged "High Schoolers" and therefore could not claim the mighty "West Plains Zizzer" as our mascot... I went from being a "Junction Hill Hornet" to being a "West Plains Whizzer!" (And no, that is not a misprint...)

It seems I always got to school early. I didn't ride the bus because I caught a ride with my brother Ralph as he went to the High School. But there were always other "early arrivals" at the Junior High, waiting at the security gate that kept us from crossing the "overhead walkway" and getting to our lockers.

On one particular morning, I arrived and found one of my friends, Frank Caldwell, waiting for the gate to open.. Trouble was never too far from Frank. He had a hair trigger temper, would not back down from anything and when he got into a fight, he had the most peculiar way of making a fist I have ever seen. Things were quiet this morning and we just shot the breeze until the principal came out and opened the gate.

We walked over the walkway, past the Coke machine and turned left down the ninth grade hallway. Now, why we went down the upperclassmen's hall and not directly down the stairs to the seventh and eighth grade hall, I'll never know. It must have been destiny.

We were about halfway down the hall, near the water fountain at Mr. Majors classroom, when I stepped to the side and glanced into a trash can. Why I did this, I'll never know. But boy did I ever get a surprise!

The trash can was completely empty... Except for a huge, gray, long-tailed, and very terrified RAT!

I have since contemplated how the rat got into the trash can. Did he jump into the trash can from the floor? Did he climb the wall or locker and jump into the trash can? How bout jumping from above the ceiling tile?... Geronimo!!! Or... Maybe he climbed up and jumped from... the water fountain. Not a good thought...

We didn't take the time to consider these things because I think an idea hit us both at once.

Rounding the corner behind us, at the end of the hallway, was a large group of girls... Girls that were talking, giggling, whispering and weren't paying a bit of attention to anything happening farther down the hallway. They should have been.

Frank and I grabbed the "Rat-can", one on each side, stepped to the center of the hallway, drew back and gave the ole rat the heave-ho down the hallway right toward the unsuspecting young ladies!

It took Mr. Rat a few feet to stop spinning around and get his feet under him. But when he did! He took off like a... a... scared rat! Running right toward the clump of girls filling the hallway...

I would loved to have been there when Moses parted the Red Sea. Or, when the Jordan River rolled back at Joshua's command. But Brother!, That morning in the ninth grade hall, when the young ladies saw a rat the size of a small dog heading toward them... I saw a parting that was almost as dramatic!!!

Not only did the "waters part" but there were sound effects... Screaming - shrill hysterical screaming, books and purses hitting the floor, the sound of hands and feet beating on locker trying to climb them!! It was complete pandemonium!!

In the meanwhile, Mr. Rat galloped between the sea of girls and continued on down the hallway toward the library. By this time, Frank and I had thrown the trashcan down and were in hot pursuit! We rounded the corner just in time to see the rat's tail disappear into the heater right across from the Coke machine! 

And thus ended the "Great Whizzer Rat Race!!"